The Birth of Our Daughter

 

The baby is finally here! What an experience it was bringing her into the world, yet what a joy to look upon her every day!

On my due date December 14th, Aiden, his son, and I had a dance party to see if that would get stuff moving a little faster. Sure enough, at 2am the following morning I woke up feeling wet and when I stood up I started leaking everywhere. I went to the barn and had a shower and then tried to sleep since I wasn’t having contractions yet. However, I was so full of adrenaline I didn’t get much sleep. 

By 8am we decided we should probably get checked at the hospital even though I wasn’t in labour yet. Sure enough my water had broken but I still wasn’t contracting. At 2pm I agreed to be induced since things weren’t moving along. I then spent the next twelve hours hooked up to oxytocin and baby monitors slowly starting to feel contractions intensifying. At around 2am the following morning I felt the need to push really strongly so the doctor checked me and I said I was 10cm dilated and it was time to push. I pushed as hard as I could putting everything into it for about half an hour....no progress. A new doctor who had just come in for her shift came to check on me and the resident who was tending to me. “ She is only 3cm dilated,” the doctor said. I don’t think I have ever felt so defeated in my life. They all left the room to asses the situation while I laid in the bath starting to feel a lot of pain and not in control of the situation. They came back and tried to explain the mistake to me while I moaned and half processed what they had to say. It turns out the front of the cervix had thinned right out but the back had not and the resident hadn’t checked the back since my baby’s head was right there in the front. I agreed to an epidural as I was exhausted from pushing and having been up for over 24hours: They kept saying the epidural would be there in 5min, one hour later after several rounds of laughing gas and a shot of fentanyl, the specialist finally showed up. I barely remember any of it, not even the needle going into my spine, I think I finally found sleep around 4am, and woke up feeling incredibly numb around 7am. 

I called my Mom explaining the situation and how I didn’t think I was going to deliver till the afternoon. After the call, the nurses were debating if they should check my progress. The one nurse decided to give it a try and turned to the other nurse looking a little shocked and was like, “Yeah, the head is literally right here.” Apparently I looked shocked and confused, having zero trust after earlier that morning. “You can feel her head if you would like,” the nurse suggested. Sure enough, I felt her little head of hair with my finger. She was right there! Soon a different resident and the doctor from earlier in the morning were there and I was instructed to push like before. I couldn’t feel a thing, it was all rather surreal and strange. They set up a mirror That helped a lot as I could see my progress since I couldn’t judge by feeling. 

At 8:06am December 16th, just as the sun was starting to make an experience over the ocean horizon that I could see from my hospital window, our little Sequoia entered the world crying and pretty instantly trying to find a breast to feed off of. She was a healthy 7lb 9 ounces with a head full of hair and able to lift her head on her own. I delivered a pretty massive placenta with a chunky cord and I lost a lot of blood and tore a lot! Thankfully, didn’t really feel any of this because of the epidural. We stayed till Saturday evening in the hospital  as I needed a couple blood transfusions and iron drips; I lost a significant amount of blood!

It’s been a week since her delivery and I don’t know if I could have been blessed with an easier baby! She gets up twice at night to feed, she is a breast feeding champ, and only cries when she has a dirty diaper. I feel so blessed to be her Mom and share her with Aiden and see the joy she brings everyone in this family. I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present! 

As for myself, I’m starting to putter around the barn again and feel my old energy come back. I feel pretty hormonal sometimes and even miss being pregnant on occasion. I miss falling asleep feeling my baby in my womb! These weren’t feelings I had expected and sometimes I struggle to process them. However, I’ve never felt so blessed nor so happy in my life, and to share this little bundle of joy with a man I love very much, to have a child we can call our own is an amazing and beautiful thing! He proved himself a phenomenal partner and was by my side the entire delivery and I feel so much love watching him play and cuddle with our daughter. My biggest take away from this whole experience is that God is Really Good! 

Our Story

It has been one year since Aiden and I met and we have come so far in just that one year! Here is our story so far...

Covid was making life kind of boring. It was work, go home, work, go home. After having lived in a community all summer while tree planting I was feeling pretty lonely. This ad for Bumble (a dating site) kept popping up on my social media so one afternoon I decided to set up a Bumble account. I wasn't really looking for a relationship; Just some free dinners and getting to meet some new people during my spare time. 

I got free dinners and met quite a few interesting people, but my date the evening of November 3rd, 2020 at the Yellow Deli with Aiden changed all that. Within ten minutes of talking to each other, it was like we had known each other our entire lives. We quickly met again, and soon we were seeing each other almost every day. 

The thing that really stood out to me about Aiden was the way we wanted to live life and the things we were interested in aligned quite well. I had seen couples struggle on a daily basis because they were so opposite of each other and I wanted to find someone who was on board with the same things I was. We both wanted to farm, we both enjoyed being out in nature, we had similar views on raising children. All the boxes kept checking off. He was respectful of my faith and wasn't pushing me to have sex with him which made me feel free to be myself and helped me trust him. 

We clicked so fast; As friends and as a couple. When Aiden proposed to me that November 30th, 2020 I surprised myself and said yes! People may think that was rather fast, but it was one of those situations of "When you know you know." It seemed to be silly to say no when I knew intuitively that I would say yes eventually. 

In January I made the decision to move in with Aiden. He had been driving almost every day to see me from Campbell River to Courteney which is about a forty-minute drive. Wanting to get started on some projects right away together, it just made sense to live with one another. 

Originally we had thought about converting a Grumman van to live and travel in for a while and we had started on the project. However, in early February life changed rather quickly for both of us. We suddenly ended up with 50/50 custody with Aiden's son from a previous relationship and we went from being a couple to an instant family pretty quickly. It was a challenging time for me suddenly being thrown into this parenting role and having to confront Aiden's past life face to face. Thankfully, Aiden's son took to me rather quickly and Aiden's family supported us a lot through this time. 

Up until then, Aiden and I had been practicing abstinence in the hope of being able to wait till we could be married. However, life circumstances were not lining up for us to be married anytime soon. The effect of being very in love and living together was starting to make things difficult. On February 20th, 2021 we decided to marry each other in our own way and say our own vows to one another until the stars aligned better in the future for us to have a real wedding. 

In March, Aiden and I started on some farm projects like our garden and started introducing livestock onto his Grandpa's farm. I left my job at the Comox Therapeutic Riding Center as the hours weren't working out anymore and the distance to and from work every day was not financially viable. It still was my favorite paid job to this day though. However, it has been great being one's own boss and although we have made some mistakes from our attempt at farming this year, I feel we learned a lot and should do better next year. 

In April, a couple days before Aiden's birthday, I took a pregnancy test on the beach. I had missed my period which was unsual. I chose the beach because it seemed like a far more memorable place to find out you are pregnant than the bathroom. Those two pink lines popped up rather quickly. We both were ecstatic when we found out! 

In May, we moved onto the farm and started living out of my camper. That's when our farm life really started kicking off. 

Near the end of June, we decided to do a road trip to Alberta together. We ended up meeting a rancher out there. In July Aiden would go and work out there for the Buffalo Rancher every other week while I stayed at the farm. 

In August, we decided a cabin might be a better plan for housing than a van with two children and our farming plans. Aiden and his friends are pretty skilled in the trades so the frame of the house was all up in one month's time!

In the fall, we managed to harvest enough produce from our garden to last the winter as well as had our meat birds properly butchered at a nearby facility. That feeling of having your own food to last the entire winter is such a good feeling! 

Now November 2021 is almost past! I am 38 weeks pregnant, the interior of the cabin is almost complete. We produced enough food to last us the winter and have started making a return on the investments we put into our livestock. Now we are starting to nest and get this new home of ours all set up for when our daughter is born. Could be any day now!!!

It has been one heck of a year together but we have grown so much as individuals and as a couple. I have never felt so happy or like my life has had this much purpose before. By all means, like any couple, we have our struggles with one another every once in and while. Our love for one another is quite strong though, and we are each other's best friends. Some people might say we moved ahead too fast but honestly we don't care what some people say because we are happy with where we are at and neither of us have any regrets. 

Thanksgiving 2021

 A Gratitude Attitude....this holiday of Thanksgiving reminds me to live with this as my attitude. Through my life experiences thus far, I have learned it is hard to be down on life when you keep the good things at the forefront. 

I have so much to be thankful for this year! First off, for having my loving partner Aiden by my side this entire year. I didn't realize before being in a relationship how amazing it is to have someone who loves you to tackle life with together. We have turned out to be an incredible team and have accomplished so much together in a short amount of time. I am thankful to God for having brought Aiden into my life and for giving me a partner that I work so well with. 

I am beyond grateful for my pregnancy and our little daughter. I never dreamed that I would be able to carry a life in my womb and I am so grateful that God has blessed both Aiden and I in this way. I am grateful for the baby's good health. I am so thankful that God made my body very strong and capable of carrying this baby.

I am so thankful for Aiden's son and for having him in our life. He is such a bright and sweet little boy and I am so happy that he has accepted me into his life and that he is excited about his little sister! It is such a blessing to see Aiden as a father to his son and to know the kind of father my daughter is going to have before she is born.  I am also grateful she is going to have a caring older brother by her side as she grows up. 

I am so thankful that Aiden's Grandpa has let us live and make use of his farm for our own projects. I'm grateful that I have this opportunity to work for myself and that I get to be my own boss. I have had many highs and lows with this experience but I have learned a lot and what I learned this year will only help us be even more organized and successful next year! 

I am grateful to Aiden, his family, and friends for all pitching in and supporting the creation of our cabin. It is so nice to have a house we can customize and live in on the farm and raise our children in; Although like us, our kids will probably be spending most of their day outside! 

I am so blessed to live on Vancouver Island which is in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful places in all of Canada. When the ocean is a five-minute drive from your farm it's hard to imagine a better place to live! Also, only having two weeks of snow a year rocks!

I'm thankful we were able to grow enough food to last us the winter, for our animals and their good health, for the prayers from friends and family, and for all the gifts and support I've received during my pregnancy.

Thank you to all of you who follow and support me. I am inspired by so many people in my life and your words of support and encouragement fuel me. I am so grateful to God for you all and I pray that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! 

Pregnancy

 It's crazy that next week I will be in my third trimester; This pregnancy is starting to feel very real!

Being pregnant has literally been a roller coaster. I never worried about having a child or raising children. Being the eldest of eight, I've practically been working with children my entire life. We have Aiden's two-year-old son fifty percent of the time so we are already used to raising a child together; Actually doing something I would consider harder, co-parenting. 

However, I hadn't been prepared for the physical and mental toll it takes on your body. Compared to a lot of the pregnancy stories I've heard, my pregnancy has been a breeze! I had very mild morning sickness, I have had good blood pressure, my body has been doing an incredible job being an incubator, I haven't gained extra weight outside of my breasts and belly, my baby is quiet most of the time but healthy, and I haven't experienced any swelling in my ankles or legs yet. A lot of the time throughout this pregnancy I honestly forgot I was pregnant! Things felt pretty normal. 

Yet, I didn't really enjoy the first half of pregnancy at all. Being an active person, it was hard to accept I would have to stop some activities; Jiu-Jitsu and surfing for example. Extreme fatigue in the first trimester was hard to deal with because I felt useless. The smallest tasks and everyday activities were making me feel like I had just done a full day of tree planting. Having eversions to food and not feeling hungry wasn't fun either. Very glad I can enjoy food again! 

The mood swings and an increase in emotional response has been tough. I rarely cried before my pregnancy; Being pregnant I cry at least once a week, sometimes more. It can be sparked by stress, sometimes music, or emotional movies! Things just get under my skin a little easier now and I miss my thick skin. However, Aiden is always there to hold me when I get rocked by an emotional wave, and it's been incredibly comforting to have that rock and support during this intense time. 

Lately, I've been enjoying my pregnancy a lot more. Finding out our baby is a girl was very exciting! Now that I am starting to feel the baby move and my belly grow everything is starting to feel a little more real and I get excited. I think about our daughter a lot! I try not to put any expectations on the sort of person she is going to be. I honestly don't care if she is a tomboy like myself or likes pink and pretty shoes! I'm excited to meet her, to be her Mom, and find out what her interests and passions will be. 

What I didn't expect to get out of pregnancy was this feeling of power. My body is doing something incredible! There is a life growing within me that my body is nurturing and supporting twenty-four hours a day. On top of that, it can still manage to do everyday tasks. I garden, I raise livestock, cook, clean, bike, swim, lift feed bags, and stay on my feet all day while carrying this little life within me. I feel empowered by this pregnancy and I am really grateful for that! 

I feel so blessed! I never thought about having a child or a family life because of what doctors had told me but here I am.

 I am so grateful that I am going through this experience with Aiden. I already get to see him in his fatherly role so I know what kind of father he will be for our little girl. He has been through the experience of having a newborn so he knows what to expect and how to support me best. He is excited and I am too! 

In anticipation of the baby, Aiden, his friends, and family have been working really hard to put together a cabin for us on the farm. By December, we should have our own little personalized home for our daughter, son, dog, probably some fish might manage a house bunny, who knows!

So much to look forward to and many adventures to come. It hasn't been easy, but it's been incredibly fulfilling! 

Why?!! Business Advice From a 2 Year Old!

 Aiden's son's favorite word, phrase, and saying the last couple of weeks.....

"Why???" 

"Come eat dinner!"

"Why Cinta?!"

"Because......"

And this question is causing all of us in his life to think more with intention. Why do we do what we do?! In our adult stage, we start living on autopilot, muscle memory, and we rarely think about what we do anymore or why we do it. 

This past month I have been taking an online entrepreneur course, EYE Empowering Youth Entrepreneur Program. It's a paid training course for youth on Vancouver Island and the Coast in B.C to give us the tools to be self-employed and start our own business with confidence. 

One thing we have talked a lot about in the course in regards to our business is Our Why. Why does your business exist? Why are you passionate about this? Why should people care about what you are trying to sell?

And I just found it really ironic that around the time this question was posed to me about my projects, the two-year-old was beginning to ask us the same question. On the one hand when you hear Why at least 560 times a day, it can be a little annoying, and sometimes the only answer I can come up with especially when rushed is, "Because I said so!" However, I've been training myself to be patient with the question because I've realized the value in it. It helps us live more with intention, and when we live with intention we get more out of life and can make more meaningful and purposeful decisions. 

" Why do we wear clothes Cinta?" 

This question forces me to think about what I wear and why I chose to wear what I do. It makes me meditate on how I view my body and how I should view others. 

"Why are you cleaning Cinta?"

Why do I clean? It made me realize that it's because I am more relaxed in a tidy space and when I'm more relaxed I'm happier and I can be more present to my family. Giving cleaning more purpose than just being a chore has made it a more pleasant and purposeful task and when I see the benefit in it, I dread the task less.

For the project I'm focusing on for the business program, which is my rabbitry, focusing on my Why has given me a lot of direction for my project, helped me with all aspects from marketing, elevator speeches, project planning, and has given me more confidence in what I'm doing. 

Why Rabbits?! I get a lot of joy out of seeing the interaction between people and bunnies. The joy on people's faces, the individual personalities in each and every bunny, and the therapeutic effect rabbits have on people. This why is why I have decided meat rabbits are not my thing; I really like bunnies too much! lol. My pet bunnies and angora bunnies are now my primary business drive and I've discovered this by investigating the answer to my Why!

Why do you do what you do? Do you live with intention? Perhaps it's time we start thinking like a two-year-old again and ask why a little more often!

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer! Stay tuned next month for a lot of exciting news!!!