Embracing Chaos

My sister recently asked me how I managed my life. My answer….

Embrace the chaos!

There is literally no other way to do it! Managing livestock, cooking, cleaning, gardening, and caring for the kids is a recipe for chaos and if I let it consume me or stress me out there would be no way to handle it all. So, I just take all the craziness and enjoy what I can. 

The house won’t always get clean, the dishes won’t always get washed, the barn might occasionally look like a bomb went off, animals will escape, the kids will slip and hurt themselves. It doesn’t matter! 

What matters is that everyone in this family feels loved and appreciated, that we get to spend time together not stressing. As long the animals have access to food and water and shelter they will survive! 

It’s the season of babies right now and the barn is full of baby goats, piglets, rabbit kits, and we even have a gosling too! There is so much energy in the air. 

Sequoia is growing so fast! She wants to move on her own so badly. She is often communicating through babbles and grunts and although she is happy in most of my pictures she most definitely cries when she is mad. 

Can one get cabin fever living on eight acres?! Absolutely! I try to get out daily for a walk and do some geocaching with the kids to make it more exciting!

The weather has been really unpredictable which has made gardening a bit of a headache but now that we are entering into May I’m hoping for at least no more snow or frost. 

   

Life might be crazy right now but we sure do have a lot of fun!

Motherhood

Our precious daughter is almost three months old and I’ve felt myself easing into this new role as a mother.

One of the questions I hated when she was first born was, “How does it feel to be a mother?” Firstly, the question felt a little insulting (although I knew that wasn’t the intention) as I had been doing everything a mother does for Aiden’s son when we would have him. Secondly, there was so much going on when Sequoia was born; Christmas was around the corner then we got really sick; I didn’t have time to comprehend anything. 

Now after three months I can answer that question a little better. It’s intense and wonderful; That is how I would describe motherhood. Motherhood and farming at the same time is a lot! The other day she was still sleeping after farm chores and I had enough time to cook and eat a lunch in peace with my two hands. I thought how funny it was that I was enjoying such a simple moment of being able to eat with two hands not feeling rushed. 

The intensity of motherhood; Rushing from one thing to the next. Never sleeping fully at night even if baby is sleeping because I’m worried if she is breathing. Wondering if I’m doing this newborn thing right because I’m relaying on my instincts and I have no idea what I am doing! Trying to find time to eat, to clean, to have a shower; Trying to do everything but also not enough to burn myself out. It’s been a lot about learning what to prioritize and what to let slide. 

          

Sitting and nursing for the greater part of the day is hard for me sometimes. I get bored, so many thoughts flow through my head but I rarely get the chance to sit and write out these thoughts. I often feel cabin fever and lonely. Being a workaholic it can be hard for me to just sit or play. I want to be in the barn and working on projects

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The wonderful things: Watching her coo, laugh, and smile! Having a baby to cuddle. Watching her and her brother interact. I’ve never felt so purposeful and needed in my life! Our maternal bond is strong! Just observing her grow and take in everything is magical and there are moments with her where I have never felt so happy! The bond between Aiden and is stronger and I’m so happy and proud of our little family….big family I guess if you include the one hundred and fifty animals. 

Going from a pregnant body to a not pregnant one has been a weird adjustment. I had just come to place of comfort in my pregnant body and now I’m back to what my body used to be and that changes you mentally in some ways. A lot of who you are and how you feel ties into your body and how you feel in it; Adjusting back to the old me has been uncomfortable almost. 

Overall, I love having a baby despite the challenges and changes. She is really good for a newborn and I feel so blessed that she sleeps well at night. I’ve got about another month left to really enjoy the time between the two of us before the busy spring season starts at the farm. 

24 Years of Living

                                            

I once remember a conversation I overheard between two older men that really stood out to me. The one-man was turning eighty and his friend was laughing saying, "I bet you're not looking forward to this birthday!" 

The older man laughed like he had heard that before and replied, "My birthday is my favorite day of the year! It's the only day of the year that is mine and I make sure to celebrate myself on that day....you may as well celebrate your birthday because no matter if you do celebrate or you don't, you are still going to get older."

That totally changed my perspective on birthdays and so I make sure to celebrate mine and encourage others to celebrate their birthday as well. Especially after having given birth and experiencing the miracle and goodness that life is, a birthday feels far more significant and special to me. 

Today I am twenty-four! On January 12th, 1998 my mother gave birth to me, her first child, in Maple Ridge British Columbia. I was very independent from the start of life and explorative. These character traits have led me to have some incredible life experiences already! Here are some of my favorite photos chronicling the past twenty-four years.

I couldn't be more grateful for the life God has given me and for all the people I've met along the way who have made this journey memorable! Looking forward to where this next year of life will take me.