The New Routine!

I have a good life! I often don't understand why! When I tell people this, they say its because I'm a good person......but there are many good people in the world, many better then I, who have horrible lives!  None the less, I've been feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for everything I have! 

I'm back in the city! As much as I miss the country, I am glad to be back! I do enjoy my comfy bed, the food I'm provided, doing more jiu jitsu, and playing with the boys! The boys have changed so much over the summer! Now I can have actual conversations with them, since their English has greatly improved. They also grew a lot taller!

And now all three go to school! 

This has changed my routine a lot, because now I don't have a child to entertain all day long. Instead, I clean the house, look after the dogs, and do odd jobs (ex.painting the fence).

I've recently discovered the joys of audio books! Its been really nice to listen to them as I work! They keep my mind busy as I do routine jobs, that eventually get boring (like painting the fence!). It's strange going into my second year of not going to school, and I feel like I got to keep my brain active! Jiu jitsu really helps with this, and I am starting to treat it like a school subject! I write a journal entry of what I've learned every night, and am starting to watch you tubes on it during my lunch breaks. The audio books also help too! I've been listening to books on writing, faith, and then a few fantasy novels (I love fantasy!). If any of you have suggestions on good books, let me know!

Anyhow, I still am going back to the farm occasionally! It feels like being released from a cage, as I leave the city! I was so happy to see everyone the day I came back. They have become like family, and I'm thinking of going back to live there after Africa. 

Denver and I this week!

 It's already mid September! It's weird how fast time flys! Only two and a half months left here....seems so short! 

Went home to see my grandma briefly, since she is heading back to B.C! I'm going to miss her lots!

 Its an exciting week ahead though! I might just be visited by someone I've really missed! 

Sierra might be coming over! It's been too long!

Change

Change.....it happens to everyone, everywhere, and everything. I usually don't mind change, but over the summer, it hit me hard at times!

Particularly when it came to things ageing! Over the summer, two horses died of old age at the horse farm. I usually can handle animal deaths quit well, especially after working at a wildlife centre, but these horses were different somehow! You could really feel their absence...it changed the whole spirit of the place!

 Then their was my dog, Boo. When I came home for a bit this summer, I could see age creeping up on him as well! He is still healthy, but he can't run 5km with me anymore. It's made me realise that I need to cherish the years I still have left with him, because he isn't getting any younger!

I have felt change in myself too! When Hannah came to stay for three weeks at the farm, I was so happy to have someone I could call my family living with me. I never used to care a whole lot about seeing my family! I just wanted to get away! lol. However, when my family drove away from the farm to take Hannah back home, it took all I had to not breakdown! This feeling of being left behind just kept gnawing away at my stomach. I quickly ran to the barn loft, and cried where no one could see me! I know it was stupid to feel that way! I was the one who chose to leave home, they didn't make me, but in that moment I began to realise that I actually miss my family sometimes!

Hannah riding Rebel

Hannah and my other student! It was a pleasure to teach them how to ride!

 At the very end of the summer, I decided to go visit Sandy Pines Wildlife Centre again! There is always change going on there, so I wasn't too surprised about that. It was when I went over to see my favourite horse Felix, that my heart sank....

Swollen knees, visible age! I got up on his back, and the painful sound he made, caused me to slide right back off. I tried again, but got the same results. I had visited only four months before, and he had been fine! "No more riding you, I guess, buddy!" I whispered, burring my face in his mane. He kept nuzzling my pocket looking for an apple, I'm sure he doesn't mind that he can't be ridden anymore! How much longer do I have with him though?! I'm sure he has several more years, but the change has set in really fast, so who knows how many more times I will get to see him! When I imagine him gone....its hard! I have never felt so connected to a horse before! 

last year with Felix!

 Sometimes, when things become hard to bear in the adult sense, then perhaps it better to bear them the way children do. I was helping to run the horse summer camp at the farm this past week. As I was watching the children walk their show course, two of my twelve year old helpers were chatting next to me.

"Patches died," the one said, her eyes watery. "It happened so fast, I miss her!"

"Did you know Patches died?" the other one asked me.

I nodded, trying to act like it wasn't bothering me that much. "Yeah, I was one of the first staff members at the scene."

" So you saw her die?!" 

"Yeah," I stuttered, kicking away at the riding ring dust. I didn't really want to remember that day!

"Did she turn into a unicorn?"

"What?" I whispered, thrown off by the question.

"A unicorn?" She repeated, "my mom says that when horses die, they stand up, and run off into the wind as unicorns!"

They both looked at me with such hopefully, longing eyes. I felt that my answer was going to greatly effect them, but I wasn't sure how to answer! I don't usually like to lie to children, but perhaps if you imagine something to be true, its not exactly a lie! 

"She did turn into a unicorn," I smiled, imagining Patches with a long, pink horn. Seeing her run across the wind in the pasture, to whatever lies ahead. "She was very happy to be a unicorn!"

So, maybe when Felix dies he will turn into some handsome unicorn, and Boo will turn into a magnificent wolf, and they will forever be with me, haunting me in my dreams.

Very blurry selfie with my Mom at the university!

Despite some of the sad changes this summer, there have been good changes too! Mom has started university, and I went to visit her there. It was so weird, I felt like I was sending my Mom off into the world! I am so proud of her though! And I think she will have a great time!

 As for myself, summer is over! I had to say goodbye to everyone at the farm. I will be going back on Saturdays, so I can ride my new, and wild stead, Denver. Perhaps I will form the same sort of bond with him that I formed with Felix!

Riding with a friend on Denver!

  I shared my room with a young girl for a month while I was at the farm! As a goodbye, she painted my name on a horse shoe. She was like a sister to me, and I will never forget her!

Now, I am back in the city!

  I saw the  boys last night, and they have grown so much! I am excited to go back into being a part of their lives! I am also super excited to go back to four days of jiu jitsu instead of two!

Got my first stripe!

 It is literally one of the only reason I enjoy living in this city! I almost don't want to leave because of it....

but then Africa....

Africa kind of beats everything!

I'm really sorry I hardly blogged at all this summer! I was just so busy, and I had very limited Internet. I will try harder this month to keep on top of it! Hope all of you have a good start to your fall, and for those of you going back to school....

 Good luck!!

Home!

Home.....a word that I used to feel mellow about....

Now, it makes me feel excited and filled with joy!

I don't think my particular greyhound driver ever saw anyone fly out of the bus like I did! "I'm home!" I shouted, spinning around with my bags. Everyone around me just smiled, and laughed quietly. I started running to my parents house, meeting them half way. Throwing my bags down, I gave them both giant hugs, and didn't want to let go!

This past week, I went home for my one week vacation. I had missed everyone so much! I enjoy my jobs near Toronto, but with no family, or close friends, I sometimes get really lonely! 

It wasn't really a vacation, because I went to camp Mishewah to be a cabin leader and a sports director.  Pinaaz-i zibi maamawi (Travelling the River Together) is a native bible camp run at Mishewah, that I have worked at before. The camp has always been a rewarding experience for me! At this camp you can really see God working through everyone to change the lives of the campers.

Chilling with the senior campers on an overnight camping trip!

This was definitely a tough year for me, for a number of reasons. However, I learned so much about myself, and saw my work pay off! I saw kids who hardly smiled, smile. I had a camper who didn't believe God cared about her, realise at the end of camp that he did! I also worked with my sister Nancy, and got to see a positive side to her that I had never seen before. I feel it made us grow closer! I also made a lot of good friends with my fellow co-workers! I'm definitely looking forward to going back to camp next year!

Before camp, I visited one of my best friends! It had been such a long time since we had seen each other! When I entered her house, her dad said, "I was beginning to think you didn't exist outside of face book!" It has been awhile since I've been home!

Holding my friend's chicken!

Her horses! We went on a short trail ride!

We also went swimming in the lake which was fun!

 I also got to see my dog again! He was scratching himself pretty bad, so I ended up taking him to the vet. The vet said he is probably having allergic reactions to a bug, or something. My mother said she thinks its also partly psychological, because he always gets better when I come home for a bit. This has made me begin to re-think my future plans a bit. My dog really does need me.....I'm not sure what to do!

I also got to say goodbye to my uncle, and my favourite cousin. They have been posted to British Columbia with the military, so I don't know when I will see them again! I also saw my grandparents too! They are selling their house next door, because my uncle won't be here anymore. Now my only family in Ontario will be my immediate family. (sad face)

There is three weeks left of summer! I'm going to miss my job on the farm....I hope to go back and work here again! There will be lots of changes when the summer is over! I'll go back to my nanny job for another three months, Mom will be going to University! Plenty of adventures are underway!

Rough week

As much as I love working on a farm, its not always easy! This week was just plain shitty! 

It rained......

And it rained.....

And it rained! 

By the end of the week, I felt like I was in a WW1 zone, with mud going over the top of my boots!

Constant rain really effects my mood, and I'm sure that's why the horses were not the greatest  this week either!

I got this lovely foot injury from chasing a horse out of its pasture! Ginger (the horse) thought it would be fun to run where I wanted her to go, but then change directions the last minute to run right where I didn't want her to go! Rubber boots weren't made to run in! 

Their Gypsy Vanner in its very wet field!

 Despite those negatives, there were positives to the week as well! I was given a pony to ride, in the hopes that she would become more suitable for the horse camp they have here. Well, they used her this week, and they said she was pretty good! Mission accomplished!

The pony, Mudslide!

I also got to help out with treating some equine injuries! I always enjoy learning new things! For example, I learned that honey is very good for treating infections! I believe Cyndi said its because bacteria can't grow in a sweet environment. Just spread some natural, organic honey over a wound, and it begins to heal! It worked on my foot anyway! 

On the one sunny day, I got to take their farm dog for a walk! They have two large corn fields behind the ranch, so we explored those for a bit!

Loki!

Corn everywhere!

I spent the weekend back in Toronto. The dogs needed some looking after for a few nights! Tonight I go back to the farm! We shall see if this week goes a little better!

How did I get here?!

Where am I?!

In my paradise!

Surrounded by horses!

Out of the city!

With a variety of other animals to play with!

I have a working student position at Absolute Equestrian farm in Bowmansville Ontario. (1/2hour outside of Toronto.) Remember those abandoned bunnies I found? Well, one of the people who wanted to provide a new home, lives here! After visiting the farm, seeing how my face lit up when we pulled in, Alicia (mother of the boys I nanny) said they didn't really need me for the summer. However, the director of this farm (Cyndi) said she was in desperate need of help! So, here I am all summer, and it looks like its going to be great fun!

Some facts about this farm!

- Almost 100 horses
- Has two indoor arenas, and three outdoor
- eighty some odd stalls
- Mostly hunter jumper, English style riding here!
- other animals are two dogs, a lot of cats, and two adorable goats!

Some facts about this job:

- I get covered in a lot of dirt!
- Help muck about 80 stalls
- Turn horses out into the pasture
- Sweep, I do lots of sweeping!
- Feed and distribute diets to horses.

That happens everyday! Then there are odd jobs like exercising horses, dealing with equine injuries, dusting the cobwebs, which are everywhere! At the end of the day I get to ride! Soon I will receive lessons in jumping, which is something I haven't done much of! Hoping to find the time to keep you all posted!

Half Way!

I'm half way done my time at this job! Wow! I honestly feel like I just got started! Five more months to go! 

At this half way point, I feel like I have already learned so much! I thought raising kids was pretty simple! I mean, I spent a lot of time helping take care for my siblings as I was growing up. It wasn't easy, but nothing I couldn't handle....well, I've realised that its not as simple as I thought! Raising kids can be really frustrating at times!

A sword fight is happening, no matter how tired you are!

It is also super rewarding though! I feel so privileged to be a part of these boy's lives, and their integration into Canadian culture! 

Home made Popsicles

Best three year old cookie baker!

 Volunteering at the Toronto Wildlife Centre is also going very well! During my shift in the nursery, there are four other women who I work with, and they are awesome! We are a very good team! We got told by our supervisor that we are one of the best teams she has ever had to work with! I look forward to every Saturday morning! It is so much fun! 

(Note: Taking pictures of the patients at TWC is not allowed, that is why there are no pics! Sorry!)

My Rouge shift is also going very well! All the baby raccoons, and skunks are starting to take over! Oh! And all those squirrels I spent the spring syringe feeding! I can't say enough about how incredibly awesome being a part of the rehabilitation process is!

Taking a little selfie break outside of some rouge park enclosures. 

 I also started taking Jiu Jitsu classes about three weeks ago! Honestly, I love it! Jiu Jitsu is really my thing, and (I think) I'm pretty good at it! I felt, since I do a lot of solo travelling, that having some self defence knowledge was in my best interest. I strongly encourage women who can, to take classes like this! They really boost self confidence! (Plus are really fun!)

I didn't think I would get to see the glory of nature in Toronto, but I was wrong! Here are some cool pics of nature I've captured over the last few months!

Rouge park

Backyard

Garden

The bluffs

Lake Ontario

Road side

We have also had lots of storms lately! Including a Tornado warning!

I did go through a rough period for a while here, where I really wanted to quit! This job was harder then I thought it was going to be, and I really hated the city! Now though, I'm actually starting to really enjoy myself! 

Of course, if I had to choose between living in the country or the city my entire life I would choose the country. However (since I'm here) I may as well really take hold of all the benefits living in the city has to offer! Since adopting this perspective, I have grown to enjoy life here a lot more! I think it is helping that the language barrier is slipping away, and the boys are starting to respect me more as well; But I think my perspective changing has also helped me enjoy myself a lot more! 

And Jiu Jitsu! I'm kind of sad I only have five months left now! I wish I could just teleport the classes wherever I go!

Family came down two weeks ago for the weekend! Was great to see them!

Anyhow, sorry for the rather long post, and sorry I have a bit of a gap between posts as well! My life has just been really hard to keep together lately! Here is a phrase of thought to end on....

Found it on a trail!